I’ve had the opportunity to perform on a number of ships on a variety of cruise lines as a headliner doing my own show. It’s made it possible for me to see much of the world. I think that cruising is one of the best ways to travel.

They have a number of different entertainers on each cruise. A Comedy act, a magic act, a singing act, production shows and lots of other unique acts. As a singing act, they usually want me to have two forty-five minute and one fifteen minute show ready should they need it.

They have a few ways in which they book entertainers. They may decide to keep me on a ship for seven to ten days and then they’d send me to one of their other ships. Or they keep me on a ship for a month or so doing seven to ten day cruises with them. In each seven or ten day cruise I may work two to three nights at the most. The rest of the time I am a passenger with passenger privileges.

Usually they put me in a really nice outside stateroom or suite. If we’re out to sea and I’m not working, my day consists of sleeping in, eating a late breakfast or lunch, laying out by the pool, working out in the gym, reading a book on the deck of the ship, watching the sun go down, dinner, watching a stage show or a movie in the movie theatre, a little dancing in the club, the midnight buffet and then bed. If we’re in port then I’ll sightsee or lay out on the beach all day.

If it’s a workday, I’ll have a rehearsal. I’ll meet the band, the lighting guy and the sound guy in the theatre. The ship provides a band for me, and so the day of the show we rehearse the music and the cues so that the band can get familiar with my show. As I’m rehearsing with the band we’ll also be doing a sound check, getting all the levels I need on stage. I’ll also have a crew guy learn when to open and close the curtains, move the stool or mic stand on or off stage, etc. After the rehearsal with the band, I’ll meet with the lighting guy to set exactly what I want and when I want the different lighting effects. The lighting varies from ship to ship depending on what they have to work with.

Then when it’s time for the performance, I cross my fingers and hope it all goes well. The first show is really a dress rehearsal with an audience. The band does the best they can but they may miss cues, play a song too slow or too fast, and the lighting may not happen like I had planned. You just learn to flow with whatever happens. You just can’t get a perfect show with one quick rehearsal.

I remember one show, and I don’t know how this happened, but half the band started the beginning of the song and the other half of the band started at the beginning but a few measures later. The whole band was playing but at two different spots in the song. I started singing with the portion of the band that started first and couldn’t figure out what was wrong but I knew something wasn’t right. Then realized what had happened. It really sounded weird to me and I wasn’t sure how to get us all on track. I don’t remember what we did but at the chorus we were back on track. It’s funny, when things like that happen, I’m on stage freaking out but the audience never knows. I’m still smiling and performing on the outside but inside my heart’s pounding and my mind is racing. Oh the joys of live theatre.

The ship guests rate everything at the end of the cruise. If an act gets good ratings then they are asked back. If they get bad ratings, then they’ll never work with that cruise line again. If your rating is really low at the beginning of your contract, they may end your contract early and take you off the ship.

The only bad thing about cruising is getting to and from the ship. It’s a blast once you’re on the ship but getting there may take forever. I remember one really tough trip. I was to meet the Queen Elizabeth II in Bali, Indonesia while on its world cruise. The first leg of my trip was Los Angeles, CA to Frankfurt, Germany. With a six hour layover in Germany, I took the opportunity to sight see.

The second leg was Germany to Medan, Indonesia for a quick stop over. While in Medan, we were all asked to get off the plane because repairs needed to be done before we could go on. An hour later they told us that the plane was not usable and that we’d have to wait for another plane. Rather then make us wait in the airport, they took us to a hotel. They fed us lunch and gave us each our own room to relax in and after about five hours they were on their way back to the airport. I say "they", because I happened to still be asleep in my hotel room and wasn’t told we were leaving. I woke up, went down stairs to see what was going on and couldn’t find anybody. The hotel had to call the airport and have someone come back to get me. I just barely caught them before the plane had left. Then we flew to Jakarta, Indonesia, switched planes again and then finally arrived in Bali many hours late.

There’s always someone to meet us at the airport and take care of us. I was afraid, as late as we were that nobody would be there. They are the only ones that know where I am to go and how I get to the ship. If they’re not there, I’m in big trouble, so thank goodness he was there! We got my luggage and a taxi arranged. The guy told me that the driver would take me to the hotel and that the next morning I would be picked up and taken to the ship. The ship agent assured me the driver knew where to take me and then the agent left.

After loading my luggage into the taxi and getting into the car, the driver asked where I wanted to go. I said, I don’t know…you’re suppose to know…didn’t the ships agent tell you. The agent was gone, the driver and I had no clue where I was to go, it was about 2am and I was tired. I couldn’t believe it.

I had the number for the agent but the office was closed. I tried calling the cruise line in New York but they were also closed. I didn’t know what to do. I decided to just pick a hotel and deal with it the next morning.

I had to get a hold of the agent somehow and let him know where I was. If I didn’t, he’d end up going to the hotel I was supposed to be at and not find me there. And without him, I had no idea where the ship was.

I got up early the next morning and tried the agent’s office only to find out that it was a Holiday and that nobody would be in. Another problem was that very few people spoke English. I tried to find out where the cruise ships usually come in. After a lot of misunderstandings, I learned that there were two places where ships come in. One was somewhat close by and one was on the other side of the island a few hours away. I was going to just pick the one closest to me and hope for the best. But I decided to try the agent’s office one more time in hopes someone would be there. Thank goodness someone finally answered.

It turned out the ship was not at the place I was planning to go to. Good thing I got hooked up with the ship agent again.

Once on the ship, I was very tired but relieved to finally be there. Then I learned that the ship’s Captain had come very close to not stopping in Bali for some reason. If that had happened, I would have had to fly to the ships next destination and wait for the ship to arrive there. Boy was I glad that they were in Bali waiting for me.